Enjoy Shanghai Weekly

Shanghai, being the metropolis that it is, offers a number of free local publications. Some daily, some weekly and some monthly, these magazines provide invaluable information for both residents and transients. Last month’s edition of That’s Shanghai gave us a lovely quiz to take to see if we could get ourselves a ‘Shanghainese girlfriend’. (Needless to say, all my friends failed to carry her handbag or buy her gifts each week or text her hourly.) We found a great live bar full of local scream punk music via Enjoy Shanghai Weekly two weeks ago, so we thought we’d grab this particular publication again. This time, however, we actually got to the end of the 21 pages, and found The Personals section. The results of this discovery are as follows:

FRIENDS

Chubby Girl

Chubby Girl in SH looking for a cool guy to be friends or have fun or whatever else suit our fancies.

Scenes

We’re all just playing out scenes we’ve seen in films. The only difference is our stories usually have depressing endings. Looking for an intelligent guy to hang out. Drop me a line if you also want to find a geek to talk with in this gorgeous lonely city. Stay away if you want something erotic.

Black Dude

Strong, fit, 30y/o black brother on the look out for pretty ladies in Shanghai. I am not into Oriental chicks yet, but if you’re fine, I’ll check you out. PS: I’m not into this internet chat BS.

A common future

European man looking for a common future. Please only Western, European, Japanese or Korean women. You should be 23 to 33 years old, educated and financially independent. I’m 30 years old, 1.78 tall and athletic. Send me a short introduction and a photo.

Hot Italian

Handsome, educated and imaginative young Italian man looking for an elegant and sexy young woman in Shanghai.

I think there is something to learn about people from Personals sections. What I didn’t realise, was that Personals also sometimes have a Missed Connections section…

MISSED CONNECTION

Runover

You leaned over me after I was flattened by a recycling tricycle piled high with styrofoam on Nanjing Rd near the HSBC bank on February 12^th. I was carrying a small dog, who didn’t make it. I remember your beautiful smile and long hair before I passed out. I’d love to see you again.